ELVANPYRES

Solve the “Cast Page Puzzle”!

Why did RAY THEOPLANT have so much power?
Was he “planted” by the gods? If so, which one?
Read his description – Pay attention to the words in CAP-LOCK!
Think like A RAG MAN!
Also comic #74 might help.

Info about the Cast (and the Golden Orange)

Ralf – He’s our Elf! True Name: Ur-Alf (Throughly Elf). A member of the Elves youngest “Age-Cohort”, (which includes Rude-Elf/Alfin/Elfina/Auberille). As a young Elf he’s kinda lazy, kinda foolish, and a bit of a smart-ass. He was apprenticed to the sorcerer Ray Theoplant. It was under Ray’s direction that Ralf built the Golden Orange (a magic amplifier), which makes him indirectly responsible for the vampire curse being placed on the Elves. Ralf was previously trained in the Elvan fighting arts at the AlfRidge Columnseum.
Analysis of Ralf:
(1)  Strong
(2)  Fast
(3)  Fresh from the fight

The Golden Orange – A magic amplifier designed by Ray Theoplant and built by Ralf. The shell is made of gold and it’s shaped like an orange. The internal mechanisms are “like clockwork”. Ray insisted that it have the phrase “To the Wackiest One” inscribed on the side, but it was Ralf’s idea to add the “flame” paint job and write his name at the bottom. It has a context sensitive control knob at the top. It uses a fragment of Pure Evil as its power source, which Ralf notes will last for thousands of years. Lady Frisque believes it would have been more environmentally friendly to have used the Soul of a Forsaken Child. It’s location is shielded by the spells  Scry Belie and Trace Erase, and if destroyed will be re-spawned in a random location in operable form. The Wisdom Gods have forbidden magic amplifiers because they always get used for causing mischief.

Kith / Cthulyyn  (pronounced like “Cthulu” but with a “yyn” on the end) – Ralf doesn’t know her name, but this mysterious Elf appears in the nightmares Ralf has about his return to AlfRidge. Analysis of Cthulyn:
(1) Ralf will meet her when he returns to AlfRidge
(2) She is allied with the Human Vampires that are planning to kill Ralf.
(3) She has anger management issues due to a traumatic childhood incident.
(4) Saken

Ray Theoplant – A mysterious Sorcerer that seems to have some type of Egyptian connection. Hired Ralf to build the Golden Orange (because he needed someone with the dexterity of an Elf). Recently acquired Lady Frisque as a guardian for his LuftSchloss (Sky Castle). I could swear I’ve seen that NAME before, or is my memory just ALL MIXED UP?

Lady Frisque (Fris-kay) – A coquettish House Sphinx recently acquired by the sorcerer Ray Theoplant. She’s good friends with Ralf. She has all the modesty of a tail waving house cat. She likes guarding things and asking riddles, although she’s not very good at either.

Rude-Elf – Ralf’s buddy and teammate when they were at AlfRidge.  He got his nick-name due to his rude behavior (just ask Auberille’s HippoGrif), and is also known as a big prankster. Decides to prank Odin and Loki. He tries to scare them by using the Golden Orange to make Odin’s Sky Ship drop a short distance, but instead accidentally crashes all the Sky Cities.

Alfin – Ralfs buddy/teammate. Has some common sense (for an young Elf), and a nice Tyrolean hat. Went with Rude-Elf to watch him prank the gods.

Elfina – Ralf’s (ex) girlfriend. She lives at the Elf Sky City, she was excited about the Saturnalia and wanted to visit all the new shrines. She was definitely NOT interested in making the Wyvern (Flying Dragons) burp. Dumped Ralf’s ass after the Sky city fiasco and went back to Alfheim.

Auberille (Ah-ber-el) – Elfina’s BFF. May be related to Auberon. Has a HippoGrif! Thinks that Ralf is a big screw-up.

Auberille’s HippoGrif – A Hippo that flies! She likes to hang out at the pool.

The Elvan Scholars

Sno-Loks – Defeated the Cthulid’s previous attempt to place the vampire curse on the Elves. Currently the head of the Great Library of Occultus Magic (GLoOM) at AlfRidge.

Grand-Alf – The head Elf of the Elvan Sky City “Promise of Spring” (POS). Has a magnificent triple beard. Takes charge of the Elves attempt to rid themselves of the vampire curse.

West-Ley – A student/assistant to Grand-Alf. One of the biggest Elves, he uses his size to act as Grand-Alfs enforcer.

G’Star (Gester)– An Elvan Bard who studies Chanson de Gestes. She hangs out with Grand-Alf and West-Ley in hopes that something will happen that she can bard about. She is only one “Age-Cohort” older than the Ralf/Rude-Elf/Alfin/Elfina/Auberille group.

The Wisdom Gods

Thoth – Egyptian Pantheon. Ibis headed god of magic, writing, knowledge and the judgment of the dead. Also got stuck with the arbitration of disputes between squabbling gods.

Ganesha – Hindu Pantheon. He is the lord of learning/intelligence/wisdom. He is also the placer and remover of obstacles. It was in his role as ”Remover of Obstacles” that he broke one of his tusks while opening beer bottles at a party.

Athena – Greek Pantheon. The virgin goddess of wisdom, inspiration, law, justice, just warfare, strategy, skill, blah, blah, blah. Enjoys wearing her helmet like it’s a little hat. Tends to get bitchy around any gods she thinks have a phallic theme (Thoth-beak, Ganesha-trunk, Nozferklaatu-tentacles, Odin-”One eyed monster”). Still kinda pissed about the whole “Golden Apple” thing.

Odin – God-King of the Norse Pantheon. He sacrificed one eye at the Well of Mimir in order to receive Wisdom. Goes to the Elf City to thank them for participating in his “Wild Hunts”, but when he catches the Elves having sex in his “Sacred Shrubbery” becomes enraged. This initiates the prank war that concludes with him ordering Nozferklaatu to place the vampire curse on the Elves.

Not So Wisdom Gods

Loki – The perennial mischief maker of the Norse pantheon. Not “wise”, but has feral cunning. Odin and Loki consider themselves as brothers, and constantly pal around. Loki is the one to suggest the prank war to get back at the Elves, and he also brings in Nozferklaatu to help. Loki is the mother (don’t ask) of the eight legged horse Schlepnir-Basu (Sleipnir) that Odin rides.

Nozferklaatu (Like “Nosferatu” but with a “Klaatu”) – A disgraced Cthulid sorcerer. He used to be the High Priest of Dreaming Cthulu until he screwed up a previous attempt to place the vampire curse on the Elves. He was kicked out of R’Lyeh, but he does stay in touch with other Cthulids and is still able to call on the powers of Dreaming Cthulu. He hopes to regain his honor by using the new improved Vampire 2.0 curse on the Elves.

Pan-Ghoulin (Ghoul-in) – One of the “Great Old Ones”. Accepts offerings of “smooshified” bugs. He used to “ball” with Harmadillo before she left him for Hedge-god. He refused to answer Rude-Elfs request to stop the destruction of the Sky Cities, much to Odin’s disappointment. Cthulyyn is destined to kick his ass (literally).